Anna Hazare, Sharad Pawar, and others

The indefinite hunger strike called on by Anna Hazare has stirred up the different reactions from different people. Agriculture Minister Sharad Pawar, who also heads the ICC (read BCCI) has said that the Anna Hazare fasting at Jantar Mantar is a fake one, and people should not get carried away by his antics. "The real Anna Hazare is locked up in T3 Terminal. What has been presented to the people of India is a fake one." Mr. Pawar remained silent for sometime and let journalists photograph him, to arrive at a suitable #SharadPawarFace.

Asked if the government would react to the demands of Anna Hazare, Mr. Pawar gave a candid answer. "The government shall give two hoots to his demands, whatever they are." He took out a small trumpet from his pocket, usually reserved for the signature IPL tune, to give two hoots. "See? The government is serious about whatever it says." Meanwhile, PepsiCo, which had a successful world cup campaign, has decided to sponsor Hazare's fast-unto-death with its Kurkure brand of snacks. Coca-Cola, not willing to be left out, has gone the social-media way, engaging consumers with a "Click to feed Anna Hazare with two drops of Coke" Facebook application.

Communications Minister Kapil Sibal, who famously said that there was zero-loss to the exchequer in the 2G scam, maintained that there was zero-corruption in the government, and that Anna Hazare was not fasting, but dieting, to burn some extra calories. The anti-corruption issue has however found enormous support from Indians worldwide.People across the world are working hard to come up with "Sharad Pawar, Kapil Sibal, Manmohan, Lokpal Bill and Anna Hazare" anagrams. Said a regular wanna-be anagram tweeter. " Manmohan, 'Anna Hazare' ke upar 'Nazar hae na'?.....I'm hoping my anagram makes sense and gets re-tweeted by @rameshsrivats."

Poonam Pandey, who was in the limelight for her strip offer to the victorious Indian team, has also offered to do her 'bit' for the nation. "I love my country. I shall strip naked till corruption is abolished in India. I am doing it out of love for the nation. I have written a letter to the Prime Minister's Office seeking permission to strip naked. If the laws of the land don't permit stripping, I shall definitely strip against corruption in Cayman Islands or Switzerland."

President of India, Mrs. Pratibha Patil has said that she would host a tea party to Anna Hazare if he was victorious. "I shall also use my previous cooking experience to cook some food and serve it to Hazare ji if he decides to end his fast."

Another WikiLeak: Afridi-Gilani cable hacked

WikiLeaks has gone the multinational corporation way by investing heavily in Asian markets. The trick seems to have worked for the whistle-blower website, with most humor bloggers and the not-so-humorous bloggers using the "(Famous Person) does the (infamous thing) - latest WikiLeaks revelations" template for their posts, when desperately out of ideas. Here's the latest WikiLeaks revelation.

Pakistan Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani called up U.S. President Barack Obama and asked for immediate financial assistance in wake of the India VS Pakistan semi-finals cricket encounter. Mr. Gilani is alleged to have promised President Obama that the money given would be used strictly for development of internet centers, buying millions of computers, and training Pakistanis on how to use Facebook. The reason behind this was found from another WikiLeaks cable-hack between Pakistan captain Shahid Afridi and PM Yousuf Gilani.

Afridi is believed to told a shocked PM Gilani about Pakistan's exit from the semi-finals on basis of polls on popular social networking site Facebook. He further urged Mr. Gilani to ensure that all the Pakistanis in the world participated in the poll and ensure that Pakistan came head-to-head with India in the polls. When Gilani asked Afridi to walk the talk and immediately vote for Pakistan in the poll, Afridi irritated the PM by saying that he was just 12 years old, and was legally not allowed to use websites.

Meanwhile, US has rubbished the reports. A White House spokesman went on to say that, from their sources in India, they had learnt that Afridi never used Facebook. "Afridi WAS using the internet, but for other reasons. The FBI hacked his computer and submitted to us a list of key words he was using on Google search, which include, but are not limited to 'Hot Girls in Mohali', 'Hot women who love bearded men who lie about their ages', etc". In New Delhi, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, now accustomed to being answerable for everything, held a press conference and spoke the following words: "Inflation is worrying, corruption is bad, WikiLeaks is wrong."

BCCI, after figuring out that the Facebook polls have been very beneficial to Indians, has pushed the ICC to use Facebook Polls instead of the hugely unpopular UDRS. N. Srinivasan, Board President has also hinted that the team management might soon use Polls to decide between Ashish Nehra and Piyush Chawla for water-boy role.

Mark Zuckerberg's "Facebook - Vision 2011"

Facebook has begun 2011 with a boardroom discussion on breathtaking innovations that could change the way netizens socialize. While the rest of the world was busy boozing, biking and bursting crackers on new year eve, Mark Zuckerberg called all his employees for an urgent meeting to discuss Facebook's innovations. The irritated employees are rumoured to have reported abuse against Zuckerberg on his Facebook account. The following are excerpts from the high-level innovation brainstorming.

With several internet users choosing to Tweet, advertisers have also started migrating to Twitter. Zuckerberg proposed a novel strategy to retain users and get them closer to Facebook - further reduce font size. He suggested an apt font size of 8, which would ensure that a user literally kissed his monitor to be able to read clearly. "Nothing can come in between Facebook and its user!", declared Zuckerberg, filmy style.

Keeping in view the changing relationships and dynamic emotions between people, apart from the Poke button, several add-on features like Pinch, Punch, Kick, Slap and Strangle The Neck are to be introduced. Thus, a variety of hellos, starting from a 'simple' hello to 'I know you aren't busy why the hell haven't you been in touch' hello would be covered.

Apart from the Friends Suggestion option ( which, Zuckerberg conceded was paranoid, since Fb once suggested Sashi Tharoor under 'Friends you may know' ), there will be an 'Urgently Unfriend' option. People who update weather details, digestive system details, stolen love quotes and crap that they themselves wouldn't have understood would be suggested for unfriending. Facebook also seemed to have solved its smiley problem, wherein users have had to click external links to view smileys. ('I've added smileys to this status update. Wanna see them?? Visit....) From now on, all smileys would be delivered separately to email accounts as attachments, thus reducing spam risks.

Several long term Facebook users quit in recent months, when people 'liked' their "I'm down with fever", "Paul the Octopus is dead" updates. To stop people from randomly liking updates that would infuriate the poster, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND" button has been added for the mentally challenged users. In another first, Predictive Analytics would be used to automatically generate 'like' to all posts and photos from women. The rationale behind this is to save time and energy for men, whose sole purpose of existance on Facebook is to 'like' all abstract updates from women.

Mr. Zuckerberg promised there would be more interesting and captivating innovations. With Facebook reportedly having the 3rd largest population after China and India, he said he would definitely demand a place for it in the United Nations Security Council. Before calling off the meeting, Zuckerberg created separate pages for 'Happy','New','Year' and '2011' and urged his employees to like and share all pages.