The Oberhausen Aquarium officials have revealed to the public the last minutes of Paul the Octopus, who not only shot to fame with his 100% accuracy in predicting results, but was also responsible for throwing several parrots, astrologers & soothsayers out of job. The Aquarium spokesman looked very gloomy, possibly because he had realized that with Paul gone, this could be the last time he could impress his wife by appearing on TV.
"The past few days had been very strenuous for Paul. He was handling several VIP clients, and the nature of the thought process involved behind the predictions drained him mentally. In most of the cases, Paul wasn't able to choose any one of the options with conviction, the way he did during the football world cup. For example, President of the US, Mr.Barack Obama had visited Paul ahead of his Asian tour. He presented Paul with two photos - one of Pakistan foreign minister Mohammad Quereshi and the other of a chipmunk at the Delhi Zoo. Paul was confused as both seemed very similar to him. Finally Paul chose the chipmunk, but the president was disappointed with the long time Paul had to taken & hence he cut down his donation to the aquarium by a few thousand dollars."
"We also had a visitor from News of The World, who wanted Paul's prediction as to which story would be more sensational. On one photo there was Ameer Asif, captain of the Peshawar High school cricket team, whom he wanted to cover regarding a match fixing issue. On the other was Rooney Woods, one of the extras in LOST previous season, whose extra-marital sex affair he wanted to expose. Paul failed to choose one and so the angry NOTW wrote negative comments in the feedback diary. This deeply affected the oracle."
Meanwhile the official also revealed off record that MS Dhoni visited Paul before every game and asked him to choose between Ashish Nehra and Ravindra Jadeja. Either way, it didn't make a big difference in the game and hence Dhoni had stopped paying Paul.
The spokesman continued. "Lalit Modi, one of the Aquarium's premium customers was among the few people who was satisfied with Paul's work. Lalit, who uses the Facebook application 'What has Paul predicted for you' regularly, got answers which were working very well for him. Paul's latest reply on this application said 'One more week of roaming around in London pubs to dodge Enforcement Directorate officials.'
"Other Indians weren't too kind to Paul and demanded him to choose between equally insane choices. BS Yedyurappa wanted Paul to choose between helicopter and hovercraft, to gift to his relatives. Kalanithi Maran wanted to choose between Kalpakkam Nuclear Power Plant and Indian Railways, to merge with his Sun Network group. As a result of such high-pressure activities, Paul's death came too soon. We are all at a loss of words to explain the void that has entered our lives with Paul gone. I along with million others pray for Paul's soul to rest in peace."
Meanwhile videos like 'Proof that Paul the Octopus is alive', 'Real ghost video of Paul', etc have been receiving thousands of hits on YouTube and have started spamming social networking websites. Twitter, which started the day with Arundathi Roy jokes took a sudden turn and moved towards Paul the Octopus jokes. Several regular tweeters are now worried people will keep spamming Twitter with Paul jokes like the 'Sir U made Lakhs' anagram joke.
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