How Arnob won the Bharat Rathna - a true story!

Arnob wasn't a happy man. There was a blank expression on his face which indicated helplessness. Things weren't going as easy as he expected them to. With great difficulty, he, along with his belly, stoop up from his workstation seat and began walking towards the window. His co-workers at Air Traffic Control, IGI New Delhi, began whispering to each other - "Something is terribly wrong. Arnob saahab doesn't walk to the window when he isn't chewing paan bahaar!" Arnob opened the window. It was bright and sunny outside. Even the weather gods were against him.

He had to think. "I can't give up after trying this hard, this long.", he said to himself. But his brain simply refused to come up with alternatives. Just then, he saw the NO SMOKING sign. Despite the tense situation he was in, he allowed himself to smile. "Yeah, I Know Smoking :-)" Every time he was out of ideas, or his lungs demanded early retirement, there were always these NO SMOKING signs that reminded him to smoke. The government at-least knew when its citizen wanted to smoke, he thought.

Arnob had been very careful and meticulous in his planning. It had even drained him financially, but he had to do it. The Superbug could've been named after any other place - Kolkata or Kanyakumari or Port Blair. But he had bribed the International Medical Association to name the Superbug as New Delhi. It had cost him lots, but the purpose had been achieved. Any negative news should help, he reasoned.

He was also physically drained. His frequent flights to Chennai, by Indian Airlines, to meet his friend, had nearly broken his back. Arnob had known his friend since the days he was known as Dilip Kumar. It hadn't been easy convincing him. "You know what will happen if people start liking your song. And still you want to do it? How much money do you want?" Hearing this, Dilip Kumar, now A.R. Rahman, had slapped him hard and said - "I love the nation as much as you do. Take my word, I'll compose a bad tune. I don't want extra money for it. Jai Hind." Another problem had been solved.

The Bio Weapons Wing, Arnob's right hand of sorts, had been doing a fairly good job till now. It had ensured the release of dengue laden mosquitoes all over Delhi. To compliment his, Arnob had pressurized all doctors to go on an indefinite strike. But despite all these efforts, international flights were still landing in Delhi. That wouldn't be good for his country. No, he wouldn't let it happen. National pride came first. He wanted his son to wave the tricolor flag with pride every alternate day India played Sri Lanka. The time had come. He had made up his mind, came up with a solution. If he had to sacrifice his life to save his nation, he would do so!

He ran down the steps of ATC building, through the waiting lounges, through the parking bays and then the Main Run Way. He could see a flight making its way to land. The timing was apt, he thought. He removed his dress and laid face down on the runway. He closed his eyes, said his prayers and wondered if he'd forgotten anything. And he remembered. How could he have forgotten? He took his mobile, logged onto Facebook, and updated his status - "Gonna die. For the nation." Within seconds, there were some 10 likes, apart from 'Cooool', 'aweeesome' comments. An Airbus was running towards him at lightning speed. It came to a halt, inches away from him, making screeching noises, and turning 90 degrees in the process. The pilot craned his neck out of his cockpit and said - "Mate, get out of my way. I've a flight to park." Arnob said - "Dude, if your flight happens to reach the bay, then it shall be over my dead body. I dare you to run your flight over my body." Brave Arnob remained stubborn till the end. Meanwhile, traffic was accumulating behind the Airbus, both on the runway and in the air. Left with no other choice, all flights were diverted away from Delhi.

"Finally! I did it. For my nation. Jai Hind!" A few years from then, Arnob was awarded with the Bharat Rathna, India's highest civilian honor, for saving India from blushes by stopping the CWG games from happening.