2G SCAM MOVES TO CRICKET!

Protests by public, media and politicians to arrest "All" those involved in the 2G issue has now backfired, and has only escalated tensions between law enforcement agencies and general public. The Chennai wing of CBI has arrested several thousand gully cricketers across the city, and the exercise is expected to be followed in the rest of the country too.

Says Vicky, friend of Karthi, an arrested in the 2G scam - " We were playing in the apartment terrace. Karthi needed 2 to win off one ball. I bowled a full toss, and Karthi hit the ball hard on Ground Floor Maami's saree, which was drying on the clothes line and started shouting "DAI 2G 2G 2G winnu winnu winnu WINNERS FIRSTU". Out of nowhere, a helicopter landed, police mama came out, handcuffed Karthi and put him inside the chopper. They also made me bowl for around 10 overs, all police played. But they didn't bowl back and flew off in the chopper. Gaajadi pasanga!!"

Gully lawmakers of the game are now thinking of ways to implement the 'Granted' (G) runs system without attracting attention of CBI. "One option is to run the first run, and grant the batsman 1G. We're still thinking of innovative ways - to either rename that 2* shot, or come up with other alternatives."

With most of the city's cricketers arrested in the 2G scam, schools in Chennai now face a gender inequality problem. The Mayor has put forth a proposal to import boys from non-cricketing states like Arunachal Pradesh and Sikkim at subsidized rates. The few remaining boys are also being forced to turn mahipals, with most of them being forced to play 'O pillar *tak-tak-tak* Cater-Pillar *tak-tak-tak* ' with the girls. "The future looks bright for us" said a smiling Gokulakrishnan, a veteran mahipal.

Meanwhile Shahnaz, a leading dietitian, who never sees patients but gives the diet angle for all newspaper-reported issues said 2G must be abolished since it makes kids lazy, doesn't make them run, and would lead to obesity at a later stage. Vijay Dahiya, a former cricketer from the city, however feels that 2G must be brought into mainstream cricket to facilitate the likes of Ashish Nehra and Munaf Patel.

Nira Radia, Ratan Tata, A. Raja and more

Sting operation journalists have finally cracked open the mystery as to why Mr. Ratan Tata, head of the Tata conglomerate, is so uncomfortable with his Nira Radia telephonic converstions going public. It has been learnt that, all these days, Mr. Tata had never ever called Nira Radia. Rather, he'd only been giving her missed calls, and it was Miss Radia who kept calling Mr. Tata back. Despite several protests, requests, warnings and profanities from Radia, Mr. Tata had simply refused to recharge his mobile account, and continued to irritate Miss Radia with his missed call antics.

It was in this backdrop that Nira Radia had lobbied with former Telecom Minister A. Raja. Together, the Radia-Raja duo had siphoned off funds from the Telecom Department Exchequer to frequently top up Ratan Tata's Docomo SIM, often Rs.10 denominations. This has infuriated a number of law officials. Said an official under anonymity - "Under the UPA government norms, we have a lower cap or minimum amount that can be robbed off common man's tax money. This lower cap is determined and increased every financial quarter. For this quarter, the cap is Rs. 1 crore. By not being able to siphon off Rs. 1 crore, Ratan Tata has brazenly violated the law of the land. The government will take appropriate action on him."

Meanwhile, Mr. Kapil Sibal, present Telecom Minister, said the issue was too sensitive a one to be realeased for public disclosure. Says Mr. Sibal - "If the public learns about Mr. Ratan Tata's 'missed call' culture, it may prompt several people to follow suit. Soon, people will stop recharging their mobile accounts. Telecom operators will lose a lot of money, and this will reflect on the stock performances. Ultimately, this 'missed call' gate will affect the nation's economy and accrue inflation."

In another shocking relevation, Nira Radia has said that her meet up with A. Raja was never a planned one. She maintained that she got introduced to Raja by accident. A message intercept between the corporate lobbyist and Raja confirms the same. The intercepts have been given below.
Nira Radia (NR): Hey what doing?
Raja: Vetti. Pocketing money.
NR: Oops sorry wrongly sent.
Raja: Its k... ur name??
NR: Nira Radia.
Raja: Boy or gal??
NR: Girl. Lady rather.
Raja: :-) :-) hai will u b my frend????? :-D :-)
Further intercepts of Raja's mobile showed he corresponded with his DMK comrades about his new found friend.
TO: Azhagiri, Stalin, Dhayanidhi, Udhayanidhi, Kalanidhi
Message: Machi got a new figure's number machi..... :-) :-) Name s Nira Radia. Nice name noo?? :-)