2G SCAM MOVES TO CRICKET!

Protests by public, media and politicians to arrest "All" those involved in the 2G issue has now backfired, and has only escalated tensions between law enforcement agencies and general public. The Chennai wing of CBI has arrested several thousand gully cricketers across the city, and the exercise is expected to be followed in the rest of the country too.

Says Vicky, friend of Karthi, an arrested in the 2G scam - " We were playing in the apartment terrace. Karthi needed 2 to win off one ball. I bowled a full toss, and Karthi hit the ball hard on Ground Floor Maami's saree, which was drying on the clothes line and started shouting "DAI 2G 2G 2G winnu winnu winnu WINNERS FIRSTU". Out of nowhere, a helicopter landed, police mama came out, handcuffed Karthi and put him inside the chopper. They also made me bowl for around 10 overs, all police played. But they didn't bowl back and flew off in the chopper. Gaajadi pasanga!!"

Gully lawmakers of the game are now thinking of ways to implement the 'Granted' (G) runs system without attracting attention of CBI. "One option is to run the first run, and grant the batsman 1G. We're still thinking of innovative ways - to either rename that 2* shot, or come up with other alternatives."

With most of the city's cricketers arrested in the 2G scam, schools in Chennai now face a gender inequality problem. The Mayor has put forth a proposal to import boys from non-cricketing states like Arunachal Pradesh and Sikkim at subsidized rates. The few remaining boys are also being forced to turn mahipals, with most of them being forced to play 'O pillar *tak-tak-tak* Cater-Pillar *tak-tak-tak* ' with the girls. "The future looks bright for us" said a smiling Gokulakrishnan, a veteran mahipal.

Meanwhile Shahnaz, a leading dietitian, who never sees patients but gives the diet angle for all newspaper-reported issues said 2G must be abolished since it makes kids lazy, doesn't make them run, and would lead to obesity at a later stage. Vijay Dahiya, a former cricketer from the city, however feels that 2G must be brought into mainstream cricket to facilitate the likes of Ashish Nehra and Munaf Patel.