Another WikiLeak: Afridi-Gilani cable hacked

WikiLeaks has gone the multinational corporation way by investing heavily in Asian markets. The trick seems to have worked for the whistle-blower website, with most humor bloggers and the not-so-humorous bloggers using the "(Famous Person) does the (infamous thing) - latest WikiLeaks revelations" template for their posts, when desperately out of ideas. Here's the latest WikiLeaks revelation.

Pakistan Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani called up U.S. President Barack Obama and asked for immediate financial assistance in wake of the India VS Pakistan semi-finals cricket encounter. Mr. Gilani is alleged to have promised President Obama that the money given would be used strictly for development of internet centers, buying millions of computers, and training Pakistanis on how to use Facebook. The reason behind this was found from another WikiLeaks cable-hack between Pakistan captain Shahid Afridi and PM Yousuf Gilani.

Afridi is believed to told a shocked PM Gilani about Pakistan's exit from the semi-finals on basis of polls on popular social networking site Facebook. He further urged Mr. Gilani to ensure that all the Pakistanis in the world participated in the poll and ensure that Pakistan came head-to-head with India in the polls. When Gilani asked Afridi to walk the talk and immediately vote for Pakistan in the poll, Afridi irritated the PM by saying that he was just 12 years old, and was legally not allowed to use websites.

Meanwhile, US has rubbished the reports. A White House spokesman went on to say that, from their sources in India, they had learnt that Afridi never used Facebook. "Afridi WAS using the internet, but for other reasons. The FBI hacked his computer and submitted to us a list of key words he was using on Google search, which include, but are not limited to 'Hot Girls in Mohali', 'Hot women who love bearded men who lie about their ages', etc". In New Delhi, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, now accustomed to being answerable for everything, held a press conference and spoke the following words: "Inflation is worrying, corruption is bad, WikiLeaks is wrong."

BCCI, after figuring out that the Facebook polls have been very beneficial to Indians, has pushed the ICC to use Facebook Polls instead of the hugely unpopular UDRS. N. Srinivasan, Board President has also hinted that the team management might soon use Polls to decide between Ashish Nehra and Piyush Chawla for water-boy role.

BCCI to rename Power-plays

After repeated failures by the batsmen in Power-plays, and subsequent criticism by media and public, the BCCI has finally acted, and come to the rescue of its cricketers. "We have put forth a request to the ICC, which is essentially BCCI, to cancel the concept of Power-play. Henceforth, all Indian batting overs shall be called Fore-plays. This is to ensure that the batsmen enjoy themselves when out there in the middle, and not throw away wickets." - a pleased looking spokesperson said.

"We are also doing what we can from our side to ensure that batsmen don't return to the crease faster than ShastriBot's tracer bullet. We've requested Sachin to personally go and ask for appreciations from the next 3 batsmen after he's dismissed. All batsmen seem to be in some sense of urgency to rush back to dressing room and congratulate Sachin."

Meanwhile, sources close to the Indian team say a Psychologist has been appointed to help batsmen break inhibitions and perform better during Power-plays. The psychologist is rumored to have advised batsmen to imagine bowlers during Power-plays to be Ashish Nehra. Also, Munaf Patel and Nehra were told to visualize each other as bowler and self as fielder when they were batting.

In related news, BCCI has refused Walt Disney rights to make comedy movies based on Ravi Shastri-MS Dhoni post match presentation ceremonies.